Art imitates life and vice versa.

 

 To prove it, I saw NYC garbage men on a break pitch ideas for The City Of Angels or Hollywood. I was overwhelmed by the musky scent of success when I realized my childhood dream to live life like a great American novel had begun to write itself.

 

This true-life story has everything but a movie studio called Kitchen Sink Productions or Tin Hat Films. And, yes, it has books gather dust at the NYPL. The trick to get kids and the FBI to read is open up with a scene of a typewriter and paper spattered with brains

 

Gotcha

 

Zoom in overhead to a street at night in The South Bronx, a place that Woody Allen would never think of filming one of his movies not unless he wants to die young.

 

I have a gun in my hand.

 

Don’t say a word, you (expletive deleted)! Watch me kill the audience. Watch me walk between parked cars and point the gun at a Puerto Rican named Angel. Pop, pop, pop and Angel falls backwards against a locked building door. He slides down ever so slowly.

 

Are you reading me so far, NRA?

 

Previously, the Puerto Rican and I got into a heated dispute started by me. It was over nothing to get $omething by $elling a story to grab grub and pay my rent. Only in New York can I get away with satire and to be interviewed by Charlie Rose under the all-seeing third eye blind of Channel 2 News. I write this to Tweet Think Thirteen and---

 

THIS IS A SPECIAL BULLETIN!!!

 

NYPD will regret they never stopped and frisked me, a handsome blond haired white guy who looks tailor made for Wall Street or for orgies at the Playboy Mansion or for good old fashion Gay American family values in the 21 Century.  Well, I’m off to Africa.

 

Hope I don’t get Aids!

 

I’m just kidding.

 

I’m white

 

ALL OF A SUDDEN, faster than anyone can say NO ONE ESCAPES THE SPANISH INQUISTION, I was chased by a mob of angry Puerto Ricans all looking like Gerardo Rivera after he had his nose smashed by Neo Nazis! Could they be any madder if I had set the Puerto Rican flag on fire as seen on TV in the final season of Seinfeld?

 

For legal reasons (like avoiding the death penalty), Angel came back to life when I brought him a Bud. We laughed at the toy gun that looked real in the hands of an actor who is destined to become the next Al Pacino, an Italian who played a Puerto Rican.

 

Truthfully, I’m not white. I’m Pulp Puerto Rican Fiction Made In The USA.

 

How good am I an actor for the next Fellini, film director of surrealism?

 

I’m not an actor.

 

It’s been real.

 

Ciao, 2013

 

XOLOL

 

 

Art& Hot Text Copyrighted By Daniel Angel Aponte

 

Why is China LOL?